Did you know there’s a tram line that runs along the entire Belgian coast? It goes to Plopsaland. It costs €3 for a trip, even if that’s taking a whole hour on the tram from Ostend to De Panne.

I appreciate trams delivering me directly to creds

Sit at the back where there’s no driver cab and you can stare out of the window

What’s that HEIDIng in the distance?

Come on in! Our unreasonably large door is open!

Despite never having been to Plopsaland but having been to most of the other Plopsa parks, there’s a lot of familiarity, but spread over a larger distance. The indoor section “Maya Land” is very much like the indoor park in Hasselt (only without a coaster)

This is their Disc-O. I’m not reviewing it at length because it’s exactly like every other one but it looks nice

The whole place is slathered in cartoon theming of very high standard. We like parks that put in the effort, and Plopsaland (which is still a funny name) fits the bill. But what of the coasters? Plopsaland makes every coaster distinctive, for example, the ever infamous kiddie-coaster cum washing machine.

This is the most I’ve seen a park stretch for a sponsor

But obviously they’re not all novelties. So going on to the real coasters. First, Anubis. Like every other coaster, this is themed to a television show I’ve never watched. Can we all take a moment to appreciate the fab queue?

Anyway, this is great. Now, many have accused me of being a straight-up Gerstlauer fanboy, but I want to clarify my “Rule of Gerstlauer.” A Gerstlauer is great if and only if it has at least two of the following qualities:

  • Lap bars
  • A launch
  • An indoor section

I’ve not found one that doesn’t fit the bill yet… until Anubis which only has a launch. The launch is strong and the top hat produces buckets of airtime, and then the rest is punchy and fast. It’s a borderline top 10 for me. Unfortunately, it appears that seat choice really matters and while the front is smooth and lovely, the rattles and jerky transitions reveal themselves in the back. Still, love the thing!

Over in the medieval corner of the park, the powered coaster Draak flies overhead. The castle queue is quite spectacular and I’m a fan of the dragon theming on the train. Nothing to write home about ride-wise though.

DRAGON!

Right at the back, we have Heidi The Ride. Probably the only coaster that had any significant queue at any point, because it was on one train. Not that it needed more than one, they were only running a fifteen minute queue as it was. Decent ride, I went back a few times during the day and though it’s not huge, it packs a decent amount of energy for its size.

Obviously, being more of a family park, there’s a decent amount of tame stuff. The farm is always worth a look. Sheep lovers everywhere (insert Wales joke) will appreciate their tractor ride.

Animatronics are so realistic these days

Serene

And there’s always the crappy boat ride (The Forest of Plop). It’s moderately atmospheric, but following up Efteling is never going to end well.

My hobby: sitting awkwardly behind teen couples

Pffffttt

The rest of the park has your usual selection of standard garb. It’s all very calm and picturesque (at least on a weekday out of holidays) and worth a view from the star flyer. As Log Flumes go, their Log Flume is about exactly as you’d expect, only with bitchin’ castle ruins.

Pictured: Standard Log Flume with bitchin’ castle ruins

I found enough to do until about mid-afternoon, including a little shopping from the… ahem… Plop shop.

Dear Dutch speakers, does ‘Plop’ sound weird in Dutch?

Making my way back home, I managed to break De Panne station’s ticket machine with my bank card (by the way, De Panne station is a couple of minutes walk from the park entrance and gives direct trains to Brussels). I decided to stop off on the way back at Kortrijk, because my Google Image search turned up nice buildings. It does indeed have some nice buildings, and a shop that sold me a tasty waffle (because Belgium)

Let’s play “Does anybody at all get my super obscure reference”

The Beguijnhof, which is a UNESCO world heritage site

Broel Towers on the River Lys

The Kortrijk Belfry is also a world heritage site - two sites for a town of 75000 people isn’t bad going!

And with Belgium done with, made my way over to Lille.

I’m a simple man. I see large building, I take picture

Lille Europe Metro here attempting to be Westminster

And with that, the trip was complete. Boarded a last Eurostar back home to finish a fun little excursion. My next plan is Blackpool, but it’s a CF trip, so I’ll be seeing everyone there!

I enjoyed my time with you