The second day in Munich began by traveling out west again, this time to Günzburg. The train is direct, and half-hourly shuttle buses go between the station and the park.

It seemed fitting that this station had blossoming trees

Finally I took my chance to dispose of the burdenous cereal box and get into Legoland using Merlin’s standard half-price scheme (because, and you wouldn’t believe this, Legoland isn’t actually worth 47 euros).

I like the entrance sign - striking and playful

Three coasters to get at Legoland: number one was a Mack Wild Mouse. The park was reasonably popular, presumably since the German schoolkids were on easter holidays. This ride had at least a half hour wait in a cattlepen

This guy looks happy, at least

Of the early Macks I’ve done, the range in quality is huge. G’Sengte Sau is divine, while Tulireki at Linnanmäki is gross. This one wasn’t offensively awful, but the maintanence and ride quality didn’t bolster my confidence in the park. The state of some of the track paint was a little concerning.

4/10, see me

So, the first ride right by the entrance wasn’t the best of starts. Luckily, the water ride restored some faith in the park’s ability to provide entertainment.

Any reasonable person would probably wait for a splash to take this picture

It’s got some fun water effects, Lego set pieces and drops. The kids in the front of my boat seemed to think there should have been a dinosaur spitting water at the boat. Never mind, still a solid water ride.

Interesting music choice noted: “Undo” by Sanna Nielsen, the third place Eurovision ballad from 2014 with the awkward title lyric “Undo my sad. Undo what hurts so bad.”

I have no idea how to follow that, so here’s a Lego giraffe balancing a basketball

There was a police themed walkthrough nearby, which consisted of a perfectly serviceable mirror maze (they really cleaned their mirrors well), followed by a strange laser section where, instead of a maze, you tried to walk through a set of blinking laser gates.

The pizza dispensary lay nearby to fill a hole. Above average, but expensive, though it did have an open pizza topping machine. Instead of the Lindt advert approach of pretending every individual chocolate is made by a friendly old master handcrafting each individual piece, Legoland says “Nah, we do it the efficient way.”

Stereotypes: Finest German artistry = engineering

Before polishing off the cred run, I stopped off at the Pharoah Temple, which is a dark ride shooter.

Now, my metric for a successful dark ride shooter is that it should still be fun if I can put the gun down. And oh boy, does this fail. The ride revolves around one large warehouse, killing any sense of adventure. None of the scenes had any flair, humour or scale. All it had was a shooter ride, and the continuing theme of “hey, everything’s Lego.” Disappointing.

Bad pharaoh

The other two creds lay in the area with the dragons (always a winner). The first, Feuerdrache (Fire Dragon) was the coaster highlight, though not really for the coaster itself.

I feel like a queue building this grand deserves graphics less sun-bleached than that title sign

As with the Windsor version, we start off with a dark ride section through the castle, which, for quality and humour, blows the pure dark ride clean out the water. The highlight is the predrop below the dragon. The outdoor section is then your standard Zierer rumblebum.

Drachenjagd (Dragon Hunt) is a kiddie cred that I queued about fifteen minutes for because I hate myself.

I like to take every opportunity to point out positive things - top marks to the kiddie cred!

Observation tower was done - not a huge amount to see. Just a load of audio spiel about the park

I decided not to bother with Ninjago. Just had a walk around the Lego village.

Lucerne - Pay attention to this bridge, for it shall be referenced in two further reports

Hamburg had the harbour buildings where the Hamburg Dungeon is (because Merlin). Unfortunately, the other attraction in said building is Miniatur Wunderland, which puts the model railway bits in tragic perspective.

And no Miniatur Wunderland sign on the building. Wouldn’t want to upstage your own work I guess

Big domey thing

A nice ICE… NICE

Themeparkception

Swiftly out of the gate and back to the station. While in Vienna, Owain left me with a reccomendation to visit Ulm, a small cathedral city a few stops West of Günzburg. If you’re bored at Legoland, I can’t recommend Ulm enough as a little bonus.

Quaint German streets picture #927

The main attraction, visible from all over, is the Ulm Minster, the tallest church in the world at a vertigo inducing 161 metres.

The sign of a good minster is when you struggle to fit it all in the frame

Apart from the impressive scale of the exterior, venture inside, and you can spend all the time in the world discovering intricate woodwork, ornate decorations and lofty ceiling arches.

“The deceased”

Along the river is the fish quarter (Fischviertel), and this area contains all of your traditional German architecture.

It’s a great place to spend a couple of hours just walking around. And since Legoland isn’t an especially exciting park, it’s a good little place to remind yourself of all the good things in life.

Next up, another day of “meh park, great other stuff” as I visit the forests around Wolfratshausen