Back to Europa Park for day two. Could get used to the continental breakfast at the Alleehaus. Germany knows how to do bread!

Unfortunately, I discovered that the Plopsa Pass only gives the discount for one day a year, so had to pay full whack. On the other hand, they accepted the remains of my Swiss Francs, so made use of the leftovers from a country I’m not quickly going back to.

Knowing German doesn’t make this any less funny

I felt like starting on Arthur, and decided to try the entire queue, instead of single-rider. It’s immersive and atmospheric, though contains video screens attempting to explain every character in the movie I haven’t seen. Only useful for German reading practice. Still good, though noticing the cracks

Starting to notice the flaws. There’s a scene which they have to introduce with a film clip because “don’t worry, it’s not out of place”

Reride on Geisterschloss, which is still kind of fab but crap.

Italy has a gondola ride, which educated me on the fact that Italy is just food. And I’m pretty sure that’s Jose Carioca (who is Mexican) manning the boat

I had a look at the British section, to see what Europe makes of us. Queen’s Jewels - a laser maze walkthrough. Nothing amazing, lots of easy “avoid beam by crawling” bits.

Something seems wrong here

“Let’s Celebrate Rock ‘n’ Roll” is my favourite Shakespeare play

In France, a lady was walking around casually with a flock of geese. Why not?

Hey look, an observation tower! Let’s get HIGH

Sometimes when you’re on a hectic holiday, you just need time to sit down. So lets tick off more transport rides. To the trains! Choo choo

Some good lookin bits of this park

Over to Spain, to see what this strange looking Christopher Columbus ride is. Try to guess what it’s going to be from photo number one:

Jeapardy thinking music

That’s right! It’s a spinny dark ride with lights and water effects!

So… on to lunch. I felt like I should at least try a Foodloop so I could hsee what the fuss was about. Here is a list of things I didn’t like.

  • Queue to get in. Obviously my fault for trying, but over half an hour is too much, because it turns out this is not an efficient system (especially at Europa)

If you know where this picture was taken from on the entrance bridge, that’s how long the line was

  • Rollercoasters weren’t really impressive (didn’t even have wheels)
  • The clunky touchscreen interface meant I accidentally ordered a drink I didn’t want. Had to stretch my German to get it taken off the bill
  • Not a good solo experience, unless you like sharing a round table with 11 others.
  • Eating out of pans is not ergonomic
  • Lots of faff with cutlery and the whole rotating table thing

I haven’t mentioned the food itself in that list, because I managed to order something that was actually good - think it was some kind of tomato salmon ravioli. But Europa had decent food in general.

2/10, would not do again.

Booo

I want a hip baby

The Foodloop restaurant sat on top of Europa’s version of Carousel of Progress (I think), with a museum and rotating theatre show. It felt more like a fifteen minute advert for the park I was already at.

Much excitement!

We’re on a roll with Disney knockoffs: how about Pirates of the Carri… I mean Piraten in Batavia.

Kapitän Hans Spatz

I grabbed rerides on Wodan and Blue Fire while I was here. Decided to use the full Wodan queue this time: a good decision. It’s got a great indoor section with themed areas and setpieces.

It also goes under the lift hill where you can take arty geometric pictures

Lovely bit of carved wood close to the station

Somewhere hidden near the Euro-Mir/Sat area is a dinosaur dark ride, which was underwhelming. Fab status: not.

The log flume was the last thing to get a ride before I disappeared back to the station. Again, it shuffles through the gem mine with the mine-train, and wasn’t wet in the back.

And that’s Europa Park. Great place, with lots to offer. Not quite the concentration of quality as Phantasialand, but impressive nonetheless.

Next stop on my tour was a return to Cologne via Offenburg. Long distance train? I’ll have mine on ICE! There’s one more picture of an ICE in the next report sorrynotsorry

There’s that good shit

My hotel really wanted to make sure I knew which city I was in

I intentionally ordered the trip to finish (well, almost finish) on a high. My favourite park, Phantasialand.