Do we have enough reviews of Phantasialand this year yet? No? Marvelous!

Phantasialand!

I miss you <3

Now, the first time I visited the park, I stayed at the park hotel and drank a little too much to fully enjoy the park the day after. This time, I had nobody to drink with, so no such troubles.

DRAGON!

I made sure to arrive nice and early to make use of the staggered opening. Remember, though most things open at 10am, pay attention to things opening at 9.00 or 9.30. For instance…

I think this was the only thing open at 9.00, but it’s something I haven’t done.

…but more importantly Hey sexy

Last year, Black Mamba blew me away with its great scenery interaction, strong forces and fast pace. Sadly, I wasn’t feeling it this time. Felt a bit sluggish sadly, but chalked the first ride up to cold running. It was first thing.

A brief foray over to Maus au Chocolat to find it SHUT! A worrying start, but a reminder of how lucky I’ve been with realiability this trip. Only one ride was denied to me so far (Fuga de Atlandide) and that was my choice over security of leaving valuable things perched on a brick wall. Phantasialand had other plans.

And now that I’m sober…

Mild nausea put me off the idea of Talocan last year, so this time, it took high priority. It’s certainly the best (non-fairground) topspin that I’ve done in terms of ride intensity, and do I need to mention the theming? The viewing platforms and queue-line circling the pool make an intimidating amphitheatre too!

The disadvantage of getting to rides on opening is soulless photos of nothing happening

DRAGON!

Next stop: Klugheim, the main event! Last time, I had a hoard of CF-ers waxing lyrical over the wonder that is Taron. It was night, we were in heaven! Could it hold up on my own during the day? I remember the first ride being underwhelming.

Number one rule of Phantasialand Reports: include multiple pictures of Taron because it is beautiful: always

The answer: still fantastic. Maybe giving it that little extra time to warm up did it, but its relentless second half sells it! The second great launch, running up the waterfall as it envelopes the train, spitting you high into the exposed air is still exhilirating! And the length. It just keeps on coming. After the trip, Taron remained in my number two spot.

Mystery Castle had gained some live queueline actors since coming last. Luckily, entering behind another group spared me the full force of the masked figures. Unfortunately, it seemed they were running the short cycle. Still good, but not perfect.

Back to Kulgheim for Raik, which spent half the day shut.

I’d spend half the day sulking if my sibling was Taron

Not quite as good as it was during the night, but still an impressive effort for a coaster of this intensity.

By the way, it’s next to this other great ride you need more pictures of

It’s a freezing cold day, so let’s go for the wettest thing in the park next. I entered River Quest to a completely unsurprising walk-on, joining a smattering of other Germans. Now that I know the layout, I can enjoy it while basking in people’s reactions. I can see why everyone last year wanted a River Quest virgin in each boat.

You’ll also be pleased to know that no electronics were killed this time around. I’m not still bitter about losing potentially my best theme park video.

The improved decor was much appreciated too - especially in the lifts

I trudged past Chiapas and Maus au Chocolat to find that both were still shut. Not good, so I made my way over to the other side of the park for Wuze Town.

But could the park throw in any more closures? Oh, you betcha! As I approached the stairs, one side of the ride inexplicably stopped working. It sprung to life later, but probably added a good 20 minutes to an already long queue. Winjas isn’t quite as good when you know all the surprises, but it’s still a quirky kind of fun.

Ticking off the rest of the things in this corner: Hollywood boat ride was still awkwardly between naff and impressive. I still like some of the more creative set pieces. Temple of the Nighthawk still feels like a waste of a long layout. And I still haven’t really given the big boat ride much of a thought, though it does look serene.

Looks good, but nah

Coming back over, hurrah! Things started to open again. Maus first - I missed the queue-line last year due to fastpassing it, but rest assured it’s every bit as good as people say. I still feel like the ride goes on a little too long.

DRAGON!

And Chiapas was open too! A perfect ride for a perfect freezing cold April afternoon. And it has a single rider queue. Shout it with me everybody…

CHIA! PAS!

The rave cave, the swoopy transitions, the flawless scenery. All still as good as last time.

Colorado Express was the last thing to tick off. I appreciate the effort and some of the scenery (with the great exception of the first section through the corrugated metal shed), but I may have to conceded that I’m not a huge fan of mine trains. Just find them a little uncomfortable.

With Black Mamba nearby, I thought it would be worth starting on rerides. Unfortunately it wasn’t improving much on the morning. Even queuing again for the front row, it was only a marginal improvement. Maybe I should come hungover more often.

DRAGON!

Back to reride Taron, because it’s still fab!

These pictures are so moreish, don’t you agree?

I was gonna throw away this accidental click photo, but actually, just look at how much effort went into the aesthetic of the bridge. The weathered plate steel. The rivets. This is why Phantasialand is the best.

Then on to Mystery Castle for another ride. And good news! They extended the ride cycle to the full length. My favourite part of the full cycle is the booming German voice-over after the first launch. It completely heightens the tension. Then the strobes come and the next launch takes your breath away. Argh, it’s just so good, I was having a whale of a time. Can’t believe I left slightly underwhelmed by this last year.

]My phone ran out of battery early… no more DRAGON!

Finishing off with the other Winja, which was now walk-on, I headed out of the park after a fabulous day at Phantasialand! It’s confirmed as my favourite park. The rides are consistently wonderful, and I’m even more excited for next year’s F.L.Y. now. It’s got theming plastering every corner, to a very high standard.

Sometimes, you just need sleep. Back off the train, I waddled to my hotel and collapsed. One last leg, one last country and one last park to go. Allons y!